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It feels like the last four months we have been living in  a vacuum while one of our closest friend’s fought the fight of his life with a diagnosis of pancreatic cancer and tragically lost his battle last weekend. To say  all of his family and friends are devastated is an understatement as we tried to grip our heads around the fact that our beautiful lifetime friend was not going to survive.

I feel as if we have been on autopilot for the last few months as each weekend went by without solid plans in case we could get down to visit our friend and his beautiful wife or were needed in Melbourne to help in any way.  On the outer we went to work as normal while our best friends were planning a funeral and tried to go about our daily business as if this was not happening but I can tell by the state of my bedroom which was reflecting my mind that there was nothing normal about our life during this time.  Still commuting 5 hours a day for work to Melbourne and back each day on top of mourning this terrible ordeal was beginning to take its toll.

So its back to work again tomorrow and it will be the 4th November, our fifth month since moving into my beach retreat.  As the year is ticking away and the calander has flipped over another month I am still in the clutch of commuting back and forth with no sign of relief just yet. I did have plans which I thought would have been started by now however life had other plans for us to share and be there with our friends during their most saddest time.  Next weekend I will begin to impliment those plans with a couple of small projects and the uncluttering of my room.  Perhaps as I unclutter my life,  newness will appear. But in order for me to step into a newness I need to relfect upon the past 4 months and what it has taught me.

For all who were there with us yesterday, we heard some wonderful tributes to a very special friend and what joy he bought to many people. To be able to leave this earth knowing that you have touched so many hearts is certainly an amazing achievement and one I would like to emulate somewhat in my lifetime. The past 4 months have taught both my husband and I the honour of true friendship and what a special feeling it is to find someone you connected with for over 43 years to still be as special to them in their last months on earth as you have been over their life story, proved to us that that nothing is more important than true love and respect for another human being.

We will never forget our friend and what he gave gave to us and know he will live on amongst us all until we meet each other again. I intend to live life as our friend did, with vigour and grace.  He never complained about his lot in life or wanted to make a fuss and his favourite saying which we have now adopted is “It is what it is“.

Now that we are beginning to see the first snippets of beautiful days, such as the past two days, our minds can begin to concentrate on our first summer which is approaching quickly.  Apparently its only 6 weeks until Christmas they tell me, so I think its fitting to begin to look for the sun to shine on us again and begin to bring in the close of this year.

I spied a hint of summer yesterday as the new blooms poked out in my magical garden.  Seeing as I did not plant any of the plants currently springing up, its a continuing lovely surprise to see what each season brings…a bit like a present from the previous homeowner.

And yesterday after we came home from our friends funeral, we ventured out into the bright sunshine to walk along the coastline we are so fortunate to have less than 5 minutes from where we live to get some perspective of where we have been.

We are most fortunate to have a beautiful spot which is untouched by tourists and not very well known besides the locals where we can hide away and relax whenever we want to. It will be particularly comforting to us now.  I am looking forward to family and friends coming & staying where we can show them a place where you can totally relax away from the craziness life puts in front of us at times. We have also recently reconnected with many old friends through the communal outpouring of shared grief and hope some of these friends may come and visit us here where we can all together reminise and remember the good times while sharing new memories along the way.

I imagine we will be taking a lot of walks along this coastline soon. So roll on summer, we are ready for you now to send your brightness our way…

A final note to spread awareness for our friends, November is International Pancreatic Cancer Awareness month, if you could spend a minute just checking this website for your own awareness and the continuing health of your loved ones then we may be able to prevent more diagnosis of this incidious disease. Thankyou for your time going to this website xx

http://www.pancreaticcancer.net.au/news/2012/november-pancreatic-cancer-awareness-month

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