Have you ever noticed that people who are not happy are genuinely just telling the same story over and over which in fact keeps them stuck in that same old story?
That was the case with me a little over 4 months ago when I was stuck in a daily life I did not want but no matter how hard I tried to remove myself from it, it just was not happening. This was because, firstly, It was not the right time for me to move and secondly, I kept myself stuck by telling the same old story over and over again in my head and to anyone who cared to listen.
Its hard to shake a problem or situation while you are in the midst of living it. But if there is one thing I have learned is this: When life is getting you down, or not quite going the way you want it to, you need to tell a different story.
My new mantra these days if I have exhausted all I can do with a problem is to hand it over to the universe and let it go. Sometimes we are just not big enough or evolved enough or cannot “see the forest for the trees” as we are so entwined in the details that its necessary for us to release control. Usually within time (and not our time) the situation is resolved one way or another.
Its now time
for me to start planning
a new story
It has taken all our energies to move down here with closing the door on our old life, relocating, selling our old home and changing jobs. The past 12 months in particular has seen us go through enormous change. I found and began my new job and at 50 that was no mean feat. Bre is about to go through the finality of her marriage dissolvment which will hopefully bring peace and calm into her life and create a platform for her to start living her life on her terms. Mel has now settled into her Fine Arts course, has found new love and is terribly happy for the first time in a long time and Matt, is still struggling with health issues but seems to have accepted that for now, there is no quick fix. His, is a journey we are all on together and its the three of us here at mybeachretreat, doing the best we can with what we have. There seems to be nothing new out there for now which is going to change the situation. He knows we have his back and until he can find any further treatment to improve his conditions then this is how it is for the time being. We all live in hope that someday he will be able to work more and live more comfortably but until then he just tries to do the best he can.
I feel like our next chapter now needs to be written and a plan established. Bill would love to work 4 days a week leading into 3 days in a few years until he can retire fully. He said the other day ‘Well thats never going to happen‘ So I said to him, if you keep on telling that story, it will become true. If you begin a new story with a new plan, then together we can make it happen, just like we did to get exactly where we are now’.
Life doesn’t just happen randomly, we create it everyday by how we think and feel and what stories we keep on telling.
Now that I am working closer to home in a job which is no longer stressful, I feel I can commit to working full-time in order to help Bill retire when he needs to. My new healthier lifestyle has proven to me that I can have more energy to make this happen for us. I also want to do a little more travel so need to save for the trips I have planned… So, if I can hold the fort for the next 10 years, Bill can start to realise his dream of working less and becoming the ‘home person’ making sure everything is as it needs to be. (He is rather good at that).
I cant wait for some spare weekends when I can just hibernate in the cold weather, sit near a warm fire pen and paper in hand and design my life the way I would like it to be ~ where I see us in 5 years and then 10 years time. Essentially I love to plan. I do value the lightheartedness and excitement of spontaneity but I love direction and setting goals for the bigger picture of my life more. For me, how can you know where you are heading if you don’t plan for it? Fundamentally, I crave security which is why I like to have a say in the bigger things of my life, and retirement is one of those ‘big things’. I dont want to get there, look back and say, hey, why didn’t we think this through better 20 years ago?
So that’s what I will be doing for the second half of this year, making sure my future is paved for the way we would like it to be, continue with my new lifestyle of living and eating healthier and walking regularly. Since I quit sugar and began to focus on better health, I am feeling much better which inspires me to keep going and begin to tell my new story that I no longer eat crap and try to walk at least 3 times a week. I want my new story to also say that my husband will be retiring in the next few years and we are working on a plan together to make that happen…
So what story do you keep telling yourself over and over in your head that you think may be time to leave in order for a fresh story to emerge?